Success; Car Wash Approach to Change
The other day a guy asked me if success was only realistically going to happen to a certain type of person. I replied “Yes. In fact, it ONLY happens to certain people.”
He looked very demoralised.
I told him “Success and accessing your personal potential only happens to those who change their behaviour to support how they say they want to live AND they stay as consistent as they can with the new behaviour until the change happens.
“Oh not again” he said, “I’ve heard this about ten times in the last month”.
I could hear from his tone, his flippant reaction and his body language that the problem is he has never taken the answer to his question seriously, neither now or during the last ten times he heard it. Like most people he wants to hear something else.
The very fact that he asked the question meant:-
1. He hadn’t yet claimed that a joyful life is available to anyone (including himself); and
2. That what he heard he wasn’t prepared to accept.
I reminded him of The 16 Hour Formula and the only power he had was in today and if he didn’t claim responsibility and make changes today, he wasn’t effecting any changes in the future. I made it clear to him that he hadn’t even made the decision yet.
One of his reasons for wanting an alternative answer was that he went on to say that he had concluded that “Changing your behaviour is easier said than done… and it was just easier for some.”
I had to correct him by telling him that actually in reality, that’s not true, it is ‘easier done than said’.
We continue the behaviour we are defaulted to every day because we are used to it, even though it causes us pain. In most cases, we suffer so much unhappiness that we live in a state of numbness. It is fair to generalise that most people, when asked the question “Are you happy?” don’t even know how to respond!
Success can be achieved through a negative perspective!
A very fruitful way to secure a breakthrough is to go the negative route (because realistically, we are all defaulted to the dark side when we wake up and we generally have to struggle to regain positivity as the day wears on)… so it’s easier to go the route we know and start with ourselves as ‘a mess’ than try to ‘see ourselves as successful’ because we usually stumble at this first imagined scenario.
Consider the analogy that you came into this world as a dirty car and self development is simply an analogy of going to the car wash. Accept the premise that actually the truth is you have no idea of your real colour and design because you have been driving around the way you are for most of your life.
Underneath the surface lies the sparkle, the polished model of yourself full of colour and shine but you have been weathered by and have inherited destructive thoughts, feelings and actions towards yourself and what you believe you can have in life.
Now your windscreen is dirty and has coloured life grey and dingy.
Success is a Decision (which then needs managing). It is the point where you decide that you are tired of the mess and want to see the colour in your life… you’ve had enough of grey; you’re heading to the car wash and you are going to clean your window and discover your true colour, model and sparkle – the real you in all your glory!
Car Wash Time is the period of time when you look outside at your relationships, your home, your business or your job and the condition of your health and you decide what you’ve had enough of.
Self Development mirrors the Car Wash process in that the whole function of a car wash is to ‘remove the dirt’, not to help you figure out what colour your car is and what model.
You are paying for removing the dirt. The same is said for turning successful situations into successful ones using any self development solution.
NOW, when it comes to finding the abundance that was always yours by design,
- Don’t sit down and decide what you DO want to be (your colour and model is already defined underneath, embedded into your cellular memory).
- Sit down and decide what you are tired of, what are the things you DON’T want to happen anymore that bring you unhappiness and steal your joy.
- By deciding what you don’t like you will be able to flip it around and uncover what you do want!
Many goals are not established because we are encouraged to sit down and ask ourselves what we want but we have not been raised this way. To the contrary, we have been trained to ‘settle’.
In deciding our goals we are encouraged to imagine a life of luxury when we actually have no experience to draw on. We cannot bring up an emotion without the experience and it is emotion that is the creative force… Energy in MOTION. The mind is the source of what we want to change but it is the emotion that is the driving force to push us into any kind of physical action.
Think about it, how much training have we ever received in having what we want?
We usually start practicing at about one year old when we can start expressing ourselves and following our imagination but it is usually knocked out of us by the age of seven or eight.
In reality, because of our inheritance it is actually easier for us to settle, struggle and tolerate pain. Turning this default behaviour around requires dedication and a daily commitment to retrain our behaviour.
First comes the Decision. Then comes the management of that decision… every day… UNTIL it changes.
Often times you can fool yourself into thinking you are changing but the reality is that your behaviour has to be consistent for longer than you might be doing.
The fabulous news is that it does not require big amounts of time, money or energy.
What is required is your beliefs to be changed and you have to PROVE them for the programme to be changed. Your change in behaviour requires consistency and so you need to choose practices which you get to do every day and which enable you to reinforce a new belief for yourself.
For example, you say you want a better car but every day you climb into a messy one and go about your busy day. The car may not be the model you hoped for but your dismissive attitude to any litter in the car, or the dirty outside affirms you don’t really care.
You accept the situation by telling yourself ‘I will be much cleaner when I get the new one’ but you have not fully accepted the science of the creative process. What you do today in terms of thoughts, feelings and actions determines what will be your future.
The present circumstances will remain until you have physically proved what you say is important to you so you need to look at what you are doing during the 16 hours between waking and going to bed.
I have discovered that the one consistent method for re-programming my life for success and ‘affirming’ what I say I want to change is using my home and personal spaces at work because it is the one place I WILL be every day.
With this method, I am assured of the opportunity to rehearse the changes I say I want until they become permanent.
I have laid down this breakthrough in my book Home Your Wealth which will show you how to see your deeply hidden blind spots and provide easy ways to remove the mess from your programming which is keeping your success at bay.
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